After a 9 month political deadlock, we finally got a new government that won the vote of confidence in the parliament last week. And with all the challenges ahead of the country, you’d think the new ministers are busy planning a way out of this shit we are in. However all I’ve been noticing lately are nothing but pathetic publicity stunts to make a positive impression, while in fact everything is still steadily deteriorating like the electricity supply for example.
Over the last 20 days, and according to social media which supposedly reflects the people thoughts, here are the major achievements of the new government.
Raya El-Hassan – Ministry of Interior
Just like every previous minister of interior, she started by claiming she will ban all illegal vending kiosks and tents that cause traffic on the highways, in addition to banning illegal motorcycles. Yep, good luck with both decisions in areas like Ouzai! But anyway, fast forward two weeks, everybody will forget about these decisions and everything will be back to “normal again”.
El-Hassan also called for establishing civil marriage in Lebanon (that is partly ruled by religious figures), while she knows very well that implementing it will definitely backfire on her political party and she would never allow that to happen. The move is only an attempt at scoring with civil and secular movements.
Mohammad Choucair – Ministry of Telecommunications
Cellular communication is expensive, and DSL internet is SHIT. So what does he do? He simply promises people an awesome level of service soon, and of course never forgets to mention fiber optics plans in his statements.
Fadi Jreissati – Ministry of Environment
There was a dying plant in the office of the previous minister, so the first thing he did was replacing it with a new one and posting about it on social media. And he also decided to drive to the parliament in an eco-friendly car. Meanwhile, Litani.
Nada Boustani – Ministry of Energy
Shortly after the formation of the government, the electricity supply was reduced due to shortage in fuel. So what does Mrs. Boustani do? She makes it public that working hours at the ministry should be highly respected. Ok.
They’re all against corruption
One thing all ministers are currently agreeing on is to make fighting corruption as one of the main goals of this government. So they all want to stop whoever is robbing the country’s wealth and resources. Because you know, it was the Italian Communist Party that has been ruling our land for the past 40 years.
Anyway, the whole thing makes me wish I was a minister. Making promises is quite easy, and the benefits are pretty cool. Who would object a high salary, cool circle of colleagues, getting worshiped by the people, driving like an asshole in tinted cars, and making TV appearances?! SIGN ME UP PLEASE!!!
